Was it a mistake to tell one friend my secrets?

DEAR HARRIETTE: I share different secrets with different friends depending on my relationship with each of them. Not one of my friends knows all of my secrets.

Harriette Cole

I have a friend I see only occasionally who just happens to know more about me than another friend I see twice a week. Is this wrong? Does this make me a bad friend?


DEAR SECRETS: Selectively sharing secrets can be viewed as wise or as an accident waiting to happen.

What do I mean? It is wise to decide who belongs in your inner circle. Only those individuals should be privy to the most intimate details of your life because they have proven to be trustworthy and respectful of you.

That could be one person or many. And your inner circle will likely change a bit over time, depending on the dynamics of your relationships and the experiences that you have together.

The time bomb part of your decision has to do with selectively sharing “secrets.” The very nature of that word suggests that you are hiding something from someone else.

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