This ‘help’ from my in-laws feels like a violation

Dear Amy: I have a very supportive family, but they are not able to be financially supportive of me as an adult.

Amy Dickinson

I am very proud that I am about to pay off my student debt. My wife and I, both employed full time, are looking to buy our first home.

My wife’s family would like to help us out financially, which is kind but unnecessary.

They called my wife to offer money, and she refused. It became an argument, and they responded by threatening to deposit money into an account her in her name her.

I know I feel more strongly about doing this without their help than my wife does.

Her parents will not bring this up when I am there (they told her that they know how I feel, so they decided to talk to her alone).

They mean well but have a pattern of ignoring “no” when they feel like it, and I have felt violated in their efforts to “help” several times before.

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