I’m not supposed to know my neighbor is dying

DEAR HARRIETTE: I learned that my neighbor is suffering from a terminal disease.

Harriette Cole

She is very private. I was told by another neighbor who is close to her.

I want to be able to support her during this tough time, but I’m not sure what to do since she hasn’t told me of her condition directly. In the past we have spoken, but I have not visited her or anything.

How can I be of help without being invasive?

Sick Neighbor

DEAR SICK NEIGHBOR: If you have her phone number, call your neighbor and say you wanted to check in. Let her know that you noticed during quarantine that you haven’t seen her much and wanted to see how she is doing.

Make some food that you can share, such as a casserole, a loaf of bread or a dessert. Don’t make it a big deal. Just tell her you would like to share and ask if you can drop it off.

That lets her know you aren’t trying to come in to visit unless she invites you. Check in on her periodically, letting her know you are thinking about her.

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