Can I pretend I didn’t get a wedding invitation?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the youngest of three brothers. My oldest brother and I have never gotten along, and one of the many issues at the core of the disagreement was my coming out many years ago.

I have been with my partner for 32 years, and we married 12 years ago. We had a small, lovely wedding and, out of courtesy, my brother and his wife his were invited. We did not receive any recognition of the invitation.

When he heard that a cousin had attended, his remark to me was, “I didn’t realize it was a real wedding.”

He has six children, and one of his sons is now getting married. In the past, I have been within earshot of this nephew spouting homophobic comments. (Normally, I only hear from him when he is raising money for something.)

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